Deja Vus, and other stories.

I am still feeling the beat-up sinking floating flying feeling the ocean instilled in my skin for 3 hours the other day. My hip bones and ribs are sore and bruised from the board and my neck and back and arms are stiff and very sore. There are photos I took but Billy took the camera with him to LOmpoc because he got a call his grandpa probably wouldn't make it through the night. Last night we barbq'd, Barney came over, we fed him because he let us go in his garage and take his gigantic tandem surfing board, and he wanted to see the woods. So we went for an evening walk, luckily no coyotes. But a strange thing happened since we've been there: The big oak above where her body was found, next door to the hawk's Nest, it broke off at the base of the trunk and fell, right on top of her memorial. I tried pulling the cross which hung from the crook of the tree out from the ground next to the other cross, now sticking out from oak branches, but the force hammered it into the earth.

This morning opened.
Took a nap after our bike ride: had vivid dream: My jaw had gone out of place again like that winter when I couldn't close my mouth after play-boxing. I could see through a huge gash in my cheek that the mandible joint was scraping against my cheekbone no matter what I did, and I had to hold it there so I didn't hurt it more. I heard a grinding sound, and woke up and I was grinding my teeth and my jaw was all sideways and throbbing, the window was open I was cold but Molly hadher paws around my next in a very cuddly way. The last thing I knew I was petting her before I passed out, I must have been more tired than I thought.

Billy called me crying like I hadn't seen him ever cry in our ten years together, and it broke my heart and we just hung on the phone crying. He says his family is all around him, he is heavily sedated, and his lungs are full of water, and Hospice says he's got about four hours left.

I needed solitude
There was a freak low tide at 7 so I got to sleep in till five thirty!
so drove to Point Pinos, watched a heron fish at the golf course, but didn't bring my zoom









look at all the muscles it's eating!



I'm a Cancer too, little guy


this was the other day



Had Thai Food last night at Deanna's, with white wine and fried banana and ice cream for dessert.
Before that we got back from a bike ride to East Garrison and back, Billy opened the garage door and an alligator lizard fell on my head: he said it was hanging perfectly dangling just above my forehead, it must have thought my hairs were tree branches. Before that, my eyes ached from crying because we got in a mini argument but it's fine now. At least his mistress is the sea and not some hoe. Even before that I took a quick nap with Molly Sue. Before that, I tried finishing my hair but I'm still a couple away. Before that I had two avocado sandwiches, and I'm about to have another, with Billy's amazing mouth burning chipotle sauce he makes. Before that I went thrift store shopping and got a pair of pants, a work shirt, wine glasses because I broke all ours and a coffee mug for work with two birds on it. Before that I bought avocados and salad stuffs and olive oil and eggs at the produce mart where we used to live. Before that I opened, I saw Florence! I forgot about her. She said she still has the postcard I sent her from Tahiti.

Sorry I couldn't find it in my heart to cut this rare evening display of visual fortune







To be able to see clearly Pacific Grove and Santa Cruz in the same shot is just incredible


classic gold


There were only 3 people on the entire beach


there the two peninsulas are again


unedited color on the sea, just stunning.


this one's edited though, I like bright color when it comes to people. Oh look it's me and Billy! He sometimes lets me take pictures of cheeseballs

Yesterday I put on my wool pants under my pants and jackets and a scarf around my face and followed Billy to Marina Beach, I felt like getting out my zoom lens and with numb hands took pictures of him surf and birds and things.

Later we drove up to the Santa Cruz redwood forest to pick a surfboard Billy won on Ebay for $99, and what a cool little property that was! There was a girl hanging up laundry outside, light was filtering through the tall redwoods and there were dogs running around barking at us when we drove up, and there were a million weird head sculptures all over the place I wanted to take pictures but wanted to be respectful. Billy thought it was a real commune.

Since it was right down the street from the Mystery Spot, we stopped there to see what all the fuss is about. THere were a million people there! I thought it was this park you get to walk around but you have to be in herded group tours.



( IT'S NOT JUST A BUMPER STICKER! )

also, we talked about taking two weeks off in January to go on a road trip to Humbolt county just because we've never been. And, a week in spring if it's not too hot to go to the Owen's Valley, to see the Booming Dunes, the ancient Heiroglyphs, the Ancient Bristlecone pines, Mono Lake and the desert. Billy went there for school and said I would fall in love with it. He says if he had to ever live away from the ocean, it would be Owen's Valley.

http://www.mysteryspot.com/history.html

Refugio Beach, Santa Barbara











Hot wind blew in the evenings. Dolphins popped up and looked us in the eyes. Billy and me slept together outside so we could fall asleep watching the stars. We kayaked, we snorkeled, we walked, I crew, I took pictures, we ate meat over oakwood every single night, we had beers and fritos and vodka infused fruit cocktais.

I got stung by a bee in my fingertip and it swelled up and was hard to wrap around the paddle kayaking, the dogs got off and ran away and then found again, Molly broke off her leash to get a dog who looked like a coyote, and bit Tommy, and broke out of the tent at 3 a.m. to chase a skunk who sprayed her and out tent and we poured Trudy's bloody mary mix over her and almost died of painful nausea and gagging, we had to throw away our pillows and luggage bags because it went through the tent. We spent half a day in town doing laundry and buying a choke chain. Molly was a crazy post traumatic stressed out depressed dog camping :/ I was horrible, burned throat and nasal like onions and rotten garlic and hair permanent mixed together and I got sick to my stomach, it didn't smell like skunk at all, just horrible.


for the other hundred pictures go here!


http://www.flickr.com/photos/9621192@N02/page6/








*

Ta Da! (Mr Hanky poses with my new plates)



(  + others of lately +  )

When I got out of class at 7pm I met him at Del Monte Beach, the same beach that swallowed his original wedding ring. He popped open champagne, we ate sushi with the sound of waves and crackling oakwood, and he even brought dessert. It was the perfect valentine's day, except for a couple from Modesto who asked us where they could get pot and we said I have no idea, there was no one else around, just us and the lights of Monterey. And the old Fisherman's Ghost, snooping on us just like the old days

(  fire + water  )

We woke up early-- after a dinner and drinks at Hula's that was hard to do. Van Ghoh clouds, evaporating fog above the ponds of the old neighborhood as we passed them on the highway. Good music, the day would fly by fast, feeling that good! it did, the hypnotizing surf, naturally subwoofing you felt it in your chest, walking over a floor of crushed abalone from the old Japanese fishing village days, they are glossed rainbow specks in the dirt after the rain. Small window of summer mornings. Electric teal ocean, a few brave souls, both fighting with and adapting to the element: water. Sat until my legs were numb first on sharp granite then on pokey- iceplant, feeling spray hit my face, outdoor spa, finally saw the big wave surfers. Or at least the ones who weren't lined up at Maverick's. I have a sick desire for a Tsunami to hit, just to watch in awe before it would kill me. Billy called Dave & Susan and they met us there to see it just in time for the security guards to come and make everyone leave, because probably the rich guy who owns that point and is never there had no trespassing signs up on old cypress trees.

Then we ate I had a beer and a vegetarian burrito with no cheese or sour cream, yuck no flavor I hate Papachano's. Billy went into work, I took a nap that lasted the ret of the day, and now my limbs need movement I wish we still lived by the rec trail.

Billy has another job interview Monday, it's for a job testing for asbestos and other toxic things, would be triple what he's making now, but if he got it, we'd have to move when our lease is up, again.

Yesterday I cleaned my old car out really good, the sky was so pretty I had to keep stopping to take pictures of the sky

go here to see the 40 or so pictures from this morning at Pebble Beach if you're bored (flickr's down) enjoy.

http://sports.webshots.com/photo/2505011690040119327MuwAIC

I have a messy kitchen to clean up.